High hopes for a chill northwoods room-above-a-bar based on the reviews. Reader, it was not chill.
Above a bar means loud — fine, we knew that. What we didn't expect was a bonus foot massage courtesy of vibrating floorboards, capped off by a band's rousing finale of a song called "Nymphomanic," delivered in full lyrical clarity through the cheap wood paneling. Apparently the original band reunited in 2025, for anyone hunting cultural enrichment.
Shared bathroom — disclosed upfront, no complaints there. Less disclosed: the drunk guy next door, who once the band stopped, treated us to an hour of moaning through walls thin as a promise, then pivoted to yelling "Expedia customer!" into his phone. Turns out someone had used the shared bathroom mid-shower and left it, let's say, unusable. He announced he wasn't paying and wanted a refund. Then: ninety minutes of horking sounds. Bless the staff for leaving earplugs on the nightstand — MVPs of the night.
The AC ran exclusively on "Eco Mode," meaning either sauna or meat locker, so we played sheets-on-sheets-off until dawn.
Final straw: brown linoleum bathroom floor, texturally unwelcome underfoot after zero sleep. Possibly petty. I was not in a generous mood by then.
Booked two nights, survived one.
One star for the earplugs. One more for the real ceramic coffee cups — small mercies.