Upon checking into the Quality Inn in Sturgeon Bay, my lover and I were in the presence of an unenthusiastic desk staff. She was not fond of jokes and seemed more concerned with getting back to scrolling than ensuring we were ready for our stay, everything was an hassle including laughing at the hilarious joke my lover made. Anyway, it was then that I noticed the pool was emptied, dry to the bone, and lacking any evidence of water, except the mere stain of rusted mineral deposits along the edge. I guess that saved us from impending hepatitis. We walked up the stairs and our feet were met with brown, black and yellow carpet, straight from the 70s. With each step I could feel dust from the fibers flying up into the air, bringing memories back of cameramen and vintage pornstars also running up the stairs waiting to get to their rooms to do their funny business. After going down the horror movie hallway, my room was to the left.This reminded me of the hotel room I stayed at when my grandpa was sick, 64 dollars a night and no pets… except they did allow pets at this place, smoking was encouraged but jokes were not, except the joke where it was 243 dollars to sleep on the least comfortable bed on the planet. The bathroom, will have one light, in the mirror and it’ll take 5 seconds to turn on. There was a singular towel to dry our two bodies it wasn’t until I looked out the window at our view that I knew I lost it but it was the most beautiful kwik trip I’d ever laid my eyes on